-6 tips to ground yourself when life is stressful-
Life is stressful…
Life is overwhelming. Period. It can have so many wonderful and beautiful things to it, little moments in time where you’re sitting on a cozy couch with your children, laughing at Guardians of the Galaxy, or, breathlessly watching from a plane window as you touch down in a place you’ve saved up and planned for years to travel to.
It’s all the areas in between that can wear you thin, when all you can feel is the struggle and the tension of making it day by day. Take it from me, if you don’t have strategies in place, or sometimes careful planning, the demands of life can make it way too easy to spiral into chaos. So what do you do when you can’t afford to travel, or instead of cuddling on the couch, you’ve been arguing with your kids for the past half hour to do their homework, and your spouse won’t talk to you since that argument you had the day before?
As a working mom who can’t afford to quit—who also does online college, takes care of dinner and home, and makes every baseball practice and game—I’ve compiled some of my most important tips to ground myself.
Tip 1: Prioritize what’s important.
It seems so simple, but this is my first step when I feel myself spiraling. What makes you happy? Sometimes you need to let things go that are taking up too much of your time. Make a list of the most important things, the people or projects that fulfill you and satisfy your happiness-needs. Here’s an example of mine, in no particular order, of what I need in my life every single day to be content.
If you have a physical representation of what is essential to feel joy, it’s easier to make room from the time-consuming portions of your day that you can move to the side. (I’m looking at you, facebook.)
Tip 2: Schedule it in.
Once you have a list ready, make a schedule to be more intentional with your time. Yes, intentional. It’s a word that’s all over the internet, in books and guides of ‘how to be happy’ and ‘intentional living’. And it’s an absolutely necessary component to keep your life going smoothly on its tracks and not winding up in a train wreck at the next bend in the railway.
Now, because I’m a planner freak, I have a daily, weekly, and monthly schedule. For example, each of my important things get a block of time in my day: I cook and clean when I get home from work (that’s home), next I do my college homework (there’s college), then I spend the rest of the evening basking in my family’s presence (marriage and kids). Thursdays are ‘Donut Thursdays’ with my kids. I take them to the donut shop and we enjoy a little treat for almost making the end of the week. On the weekends, we’ll go to the park, visit my in-laws, have a date night, or play baseball outside.
You will not need a strict or micromanaged schedule, but if it has the key components to ground you, it will afford you with a good foundation and the control to halt chaos and overwhelm in its tracks.
Tip 3: Don’t take work home with you.
Unless you work from home, or it’s essential and required at your job, leave work at the door before you come inside. I work with elementary age students with learning disabilities in a public school, the demographic of which is in a high-poverty area. Let me tell you, I need to follow my own advice.
It’s not healthy to spend eight or more hours a day in an environment, and then spend countless hours obsessing over it when you get home. Do you ever lie in bed at night, going over things that have been burdening you or that were upsetting, and before you knew it, it’s 1 AM, your body is tense, and your heartrate is sky high? That is not healthy. You are filling yourself with dread before your work day.
Let work go when you come home.
Imagine letting everything fall away before you step over your front threshold, and as before, remember what’s important to you. Even if your work is important, so many other things are, too!
Tip 4: Self-Care.
Take care of yourself! This is the only ‘you’ that you have, treat yourself like the amazing, capable human that you are and give yourself a little pampering every now and then! It doesn’t even have to be an extravagant affair.
When I’m feeling a little washed out, tired, worn thin like an over-used rag and looking a bit like one as well, I’ll make a point to include something into my schedule that I know will make me feel good. Here’s some examples of the little things that bring me joy:
- Paint your nails, wear a face mask, whiten your teeth, etc…
- Buy a book from a favorite author for your TBR pile
- Order something nice off of Amazon
- Take a bubble bath
- Have someone else cook dinner or order out
- Watch a feel good show
Your body is a temple, and just like a home or a car, if you don’t maintain yourself physically (and mentally) you can show worrying signs of wear and tear. Be kind to yourself.
Tip 5: Clean and organize your space.
Trust me, I understand, sometimes the last thing you want to do when you’re overwhelmed and overstimulated is clean, bleh! But think about it. Have you ever walked into a hotel, or boutique, or even library, and the space is calm, clean, and amazing smelling? Don’t you feel the satisfaction of being in such restful spaces?
If your home isn’t restful, how can you be restful?
Here’s my thought. Put on some music, an audiobook, or a favorite podcast, light some candles, and make a ceremony of your cleaning. Drink hot tea or coffee, and convince yourself that it’s a soothing activity that will make you feel a thousand times better when you’ve finished. And you know what, it will be self-prophesizing. When your kitchen, or living room, or writing area is organized, cozy, and smelling of wonderful things, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment that one task has been completed from what may have been a horrible, busy day. Then, bask in your space, and pat yourself on the back.
Tip 6: Give yourself grace.
You’re going to make mistakes. You are not perfect nor should you expect yourself to be. The expectations in life these days are sky-high. ‘Success’ to so many of us are six-figure jobs, perfect fitness, a bachelors or masters degree, a happy marriage with straight-A kids, a mansion with a pool—I mean I could go on, but I’m feeling a little nauseated and defective.
And you know what, if those are things that you want in life, then heck yes, go for it! That’s not the issue. The issue is killing yourself to get there, and forgetting to enjoy the journey on the way. Don’t expect perfection when life should be perfectly imperfect. Without struggles and trials, we wouldn’t be human, we wouldn’t appreciate the end result of the goals when we reach them, and we would never evolve our characters.
Give yourself grace if you fall short from perfect, and know that what you do matters, little steps at a time. Enjoy your life, and relish the journey.
Much love,
-Tanya
P.S. If you’d like to comment below and let me know what you do to find balance, I’d love to hear about it!
